Making The Book I Wish I Had

It has been my ambition for several years to begin writing a book about parenting. The idea started around 2020 during the COVID 19 pandemic. I had found myself in a situation I had never expected, taking a hiatus from practicing medicine and teaching a 13 child Montessori pod on the first floor of my house. I often joke with people that if I ever write a memoir, running that pod would be its own chapter. 

During this time I was looking for a book written for a dad that was going through an unexpected crash course in parenting. I never found this book. Instead most of the Montessori and parenting books that I read at the time did not resonate with me. I was looking for something a bit more gritty, irreverent, honest, and infused with humor, specifically written to a dad aimed at giving him insight about his relationship with his kids. In the end, I think what I was looking for was the voice of a mentor. Someone telling me that they too had been through this experience, that I wasn't alone, that it was okay to feel what I was feeling, to fail like I was failing, to pick oneself back up, and keep working, because that is exactly what it is to be a good dad. 

This will not be a ground breaking revelation for most parents, but I found that raising kids is very difficult and brings up a lot of difficult emotions, including rage, anger, loneliness, and feeling depleted and inadequate amongst other savory emotions. The qualia (one of my favorite words which means the actual felt state and experience) was intense and at times overwhelming. It was a challenge for me to normalize and accept. Only once I had normalized and accepted them was I able to deal with them in a productive and healthy way. I really wish I hadn't had to endure that journey in such an isolated way. 

It is my desire to take my experiences and be that mentor's voice. To alleviate some of the suffering that someone is inevitably going through. In order to start making this book happen, I've decided to start putting my ideas in multiple blog posts what will eventually provide the bricks which I will use to make a book. Thus, you will start to see my thoughts on raising children sprinkled in amongst my other posts.

But Mike, how does this have anything to do with longevity medicine? I think this material is incredibly relevant to longevity medicine because the social health pillar and life philosophy pillar of many people are heavily defined by their relationship with their children. It's hard to have an optimal healthspan and lifespan if you are chronically stressed from childcare or have a shitty relationship with your children.